As I wrote over on my other blog, I’m giving up my nearly 30 year quest for the perfect body.  I haven’t attained it yet and I doubt at this late point I’m going to.  I plan on staying healthy and active, but I’m going to do it in order to stay healthy and active, not to get skinny or get to some magical size that I think will make me happy.

That’s part of it really, I (actually many people) think that some outside thing is going to make them happy.  Some possession, some job, some man, some mythical number on a scale.  It’s not.  Happiness, true happiness, comes from within.  It comes from being satisfied with what you have, who you are and your place in the world.  I think many people come to that realization much earlier then I did, but I also think others never come to that realization.

I can’t get over how happy I am now.  I have a house that I absolutely love.  I love this place so much I find myself constantly cleaning up and doing things.  Hello!!! Me?????  It’s awesome.  I want to keep it looking as nice as possible because I love it so much.  I have a job that is just awesome.  I really love teaching and I’m sooooo looking forward to starting my second year.  I just know it’s going to be so much better than the first one.  I love my dogs.  We took in two scraggly looking dogs with lots of issues and they have turned into two of the best dogs ever.  Having a chance to spend the last 7 weeks with them has really helped them and me.  They have calmed down and really settled in and know what is expected of them.  While I have really gotten to know them.  I no longer try to put expectations on them based on previous dogs.  I know exactly who they are and I absolutely adore them for it.  I love my birds.  I have the privilege of caring for 10 birds, each with it’s own unique personality and quirks.  It’s a joy to have them around, listen to them talk and know they are happy and healthy. I love my husband.  I know he has a lot of faults but so do I.  We get along really well – most of the time – and are generally insync about things.  He is awesome about working his butt off to make sure we have money and can live in this awesome house.

Some people might say my life is perfect.  It’s not.  We have some financial problems, but nothing major.  We have our disagreements and issues, but nothing major.  I am incredibly blessed and need to remember that all the time.  So from now on I focus on the awesome things in my life and not the one thing that’s not perfect – my body.  I am done fighting with myself.

A little tougher than most, not so tough as some, but definitely a week.  For the past couple of weeks I’ve had no energy.  I’ve been completely exhausted and bone weary.  It’s starting to pass but it’s slow going.  Because of this I haven’t been working out, which makes me even more tired and it’s a vicious cycle.  Yesterday I started working out again and while it felt great, by the end of the day I could hardly hold my eyes open.  Worked out again this morning and it seems to be a little better than yesterday, let’s hope anyway.

The problem with not working out is that I don’t get to eat as much.  I’m on Weight Watchers and working out literally earns me more food.  So, since I haven’t been working out, I’ve had to be real careful with what I eat.  If this continues I might need to look into something like akavar 20/50 to keep me from gaining weight.

I have been awarded a prize by 2 lovely lady bloggers and I have been remiss in not posting it here.  I will do that this afternoon and also pass the award on to someone else.  Have a great Saturday everyone.