I used to know how to relax

I’m on summer break and I decided to really make it a summer break. I have things to do, write a thesis – write new lesson plans,  but I also decided to have some fun.  I have never, in my adult life, had the summer off.  I have never had a large block of time off and got paid for it.  I want to enjoy it so I’m refreshed  when I go back to school.  So yesterday I headed out to the beach.  My intention was to go for a swim to get some exercise. I did swim and it was awesome. After I swam I sat there and was just enjoying the view.  At that moment I decided that I would spend more time at the beach this summer.  I would get a sand chair and bring my book and just relax.  So I did that today.  It was a glorious day.  The sand was glinting gold.  The ocean was various shades of blue.  The sky was blue with big white puffy clouds.  Absolutely gorgeous.  And I could not relax.  I read for a few minutes but quickly grew bored.  I watched the scenery but found my mind thinking of things I needed to do when I got home.  It was crazy.  I just could not really relax and enjoy the moment.  I used to be able to do that.  I used to be able to shake everything off and just enjoy.  I realize that I may have been a little too good at it and shook off things I shouldn’t have, but I knew how to have fun.  I seem to have lost that ability.  Somehow,in my recent entry into grown-up activities ,  I lost the ability to really relax.  Wow!!!  That is so not good.